I've come to realize that people lie--it's not so much a conscious choice they make, but a defense mechanism to protect themselves from the truth or whatever is masquerading as such at the time. It's nothing personal, but I'll trust anyone about as far as I could throw him.

I've come to realize, upon talking to some newly-venerated elders, that art and science were once a single entity and unless I choose to complicate them and separate them myself, they can remain as such.

I've come to realize that mosquito-killing in the Mississippi Delta is less of a casual action, but more of a competitive sport to see who can kill the most and lose the least amount of blood. Other variations include the fewest/most number of hand claps before actually killing the mosquito and the most successful kill rate by throwing blunt objects (any damage to the sheet rock sets points back to zero).

I've come to realize that I'm more calm if my mind is busy. Letting my thoughts sit and stagnate is a recipe for disaster. Self-loathing, you can kiss my sweet ass. I've got shit to do.

I've come to realize that I have stronger feelings for this new boy I've found than I expected. He sneaks up on me with after-midnight poetry and backhanded compliments. I never wanted love easy or sweet. It's a cheap thrill. I hope it sticks around for a while.

Nothing makes me feel more home than paint on my jeans and skin, working long hours, and knowing that hours and hours of sweat and tears will soon turn into a finished product--mixed media, mixed emotions--that will never grow old.



I think I may start writing again.

Labels: realizations